Fight Club Philosophy

1. “Let’s evolve, let the chips fall where they may”

2. “This is your life and it’s ending one minute at a time”

3. “The things you own end up owning you”

4. “I say never be complete, I say never be perfect”

5. “Only after disaster can we be resurrected”

6. “What do you do for a living?”

7. “Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don’t you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can’t think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you’re supposed to read? Do you think every thing you’re supposed to think? Buy what you’re told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned- Tyler”

8. “Cut the foreplay and just ask”

9. “A woman could cut off your penis and toss if out of the window of a moving car”

10. “We are a generation of men raised by women, I wonder if another woman is what we need”

11. “With insomnia you’re never really awake; you’re never really asleep”

12. “Everything is a copy, of a copy of a copy”

13. “Man, I see in Fight Club the strongest and smartest men who’ve ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see it squandered. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables — slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars, but we won’t. We’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off”

14. “Every evening I died and every evening I was born again. Resurrected”

15. “With a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero”

16. “We were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them”

17. “After fighting, everything else in your life has the volume turned down. You could deal with anything.”

18. “A guy started at Fight Club, his ass was a wad of cookie dough, after a few weeks he was carved out of wood”

19. “How much can you know about yourself if you’ve never been in a fight?”

20. “It’s only after you’ve lost everything, that you’re free to do anything”

21. “We are defined by the choices we make”

22. “Sticking a feather up your butt does not make you a chicken”

23. “Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessle’s life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever had.”

24. “The condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip it on, you dance the night away with a stranger, and then you throw it away – the condom that is, not the stranger”

25. “I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school”

26. “I am Jack’s smirking revenge”

27. “I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise”

28. “I am Jack’s cold sweat”

29. “The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you do NOT talk about Fight Club. Third rule of Fight Club: someone yells stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule: only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule: one fight at a time, fellas. Sixth rule: no shirts, no shoes. Seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight”

30. “And then something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion – dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom”

31. “I look like you want to look, I fuck like you want to fuck, I am smart, capable, and, most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.”

32. “You had to give it to him, he had a plan. And it started to make sense, in a Tyler sort of way. No fear, no distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter… truly slide”

33. “I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn’t screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all those French beaches I’d never see. I wanted to breathe smoke”

34.”Life insurance pays off triple if you die on a business trip”

35. “I got in everyone’s hostile little face. Yes, these are bruises from fighting. Yes, I’m comfortable with that. I am enlightened.”

36. “Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else.”

37. “With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels.”

38. “All right, if the applicant is young, tell him he’s too young. Old, too old. Fat, too fat. If the applicant then waits for three days without food, shelter, or encouragement he may then enter and begin his training.”

39. “We have front row seats for this theater of mass destruction. The demolition committee of Project Mayhem wrapped the foundation columns of a dozen buildings with blasting gelatin. In two minutes, primary charges will blow base charges and a few square blocks will be reduced to smoldering rubble. I know this… because Tyler knows this.”

40. “I ran. I ran until my muscles burned and my veins pumped battery acid. Then I ran some more.”

41. “Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing.”

42. “Look, nobody takes this more seriously than me. That condo was my life, okay? I loved every stick of furniture in that place. That was not just a bunch of stuff that got destroyed, it was ME!”

43. “You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fucking khakis. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.”

44. “And I used to be such a nice guy.”

45. “And this button-down, Oxford-cloth psycho might just snap, and then stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers. This might be someone you’ve known for years. Someone very, very close to you… Or maybe you shouldn’t bring me every little piece of trash you happen to pick up.”

46. “We are consumers”

47. “Listen to me! You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen.”

48. “Eyes closed, we imagined our pain as a ball of white healing light floating around our feet and rising to our knees, our waist, our chest. Our chakras opening. The heart chakra. The head chakra. Chloe talked us into caves where we meet our power animal. Mine was a penguin.”

49. “If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person?”

50. “I just don’t want to die without a few scars, I say. It’s nothing any more to have a beautiful stock body. You see those cars that are completely stock cherry, right out of a dealer’s showroom in 1955, I always think, what a waste.”